A Day for Fathers - Day 380
Baby Boy,
Today is Father's Day. I want to start by thanking you and the Lord for the opportunity. I couldn't be recognized as a father without you and the Big Guy upstairs. Your mother obviously played an important role as well. The pregnancy process alone gives her the real MVP award, so thanks to her as well. I however, am after that Hall of Fame Dad status. I very much have the long game in mind when it comes to building you into a man. It is one of my greatest responsibilities, and I willingly accept it with all my heart. I will never abandon that responsibility, and I promise to always strive to be the best dad EVER. When I get that golden mug from you, I will have earned the engraving of my name above that World’s Greatest Dad. Also, please get me dope gifts. I can pick my own ties and tools, thanks.
A great friend of mine featured me on his YouTube channel [COKE & POT] in honor of Father's Day. You haven't met Marcell yet, but you will. He's been the big homie for more than a decade now, and I'm sure we'll be friends well into the future. He was one of the first fathers within my peer group, and he set (and continues to set) an amazing example. We're on a similar path in terms of wanting to establish a legacy through conversation and storytelling. While my medium is a fatherhood blog, Cell is moving in the video production lane. We had previously discussed me joining him in front of the camera, and Father's Day presented a topic we are both particularly invested in. We discussed a bunch of different topics related to being a dad. I’ve placed a few below:
Why I started a dad blog and write these letters to you
Lessons we will pass on to our children
The significance of being a black father, raising black children in America
Because of how vast the fatherhood experience is, we really could have continued speaking on the subject for hours. It’s like being in a position of perpetual learning. Especially with you now being a toddler, you’re doing something new everyday. I am on the receiving end of these new things and having to adjust on the fly. For instance, you went from scooting to walking (with light assistance), to crawling with exceptional speed in the span of a few days. Now that you’re more mobile, your world has opened up. There are so many new things for you to investigate, to grab and touch. Your favorite items currently are my record player and the recline button on the couch. The new experience for me is telling you, “Don’t touch that” as you move around the room. I have to say it a lot. You actually listen well, but you move on to something else you shouldn’t be touching. “Not for babies” became “don’t touch that”. “Don’t touch that” has since turned to “Great job, Grayson”, and that will change soon too.
As our world constantly shifts, I have to remain focused on that long game I mentioned before. I will love you and prove it with intentionality. Being a father is being an ever-present teacher and confidant. I will teach you how to love others above yourself. I will teach you how to push through obstacles and learn from your mistakes. I’ll help you to learn from other’s mistakes to avoid making them yourself. There will be lessons about respecting people of all colors, cultures, and classes. I will teach you to be genuinely hopeful as well as enthusiastically helpful. You’ll learn by seeing and doing. Some things will be a crash course, while others will include a curriculum and exam. I will prepare you for both the sun and the rain, joy and sadness, the mountaintop and the valley because that’s what life is. That’s also my mission as a father. But a father is also a companion. We will have unforgettable moments together. I can’t promise they will all be fun. I honestly believe the majority will be, but even when they’re not we will go through them together. There won’t be anything you can’t bring to me, no topic we can’t discuss because I’m your dad and I love you.
I realize that fatherhood is much more marathon than sprint. I can’t become the Greatest Dad in the World in a day. What I can do is work to be a better father each day. I can continuously push forward through all situations, putting one foot in front of the other. I can learn from the fathers around and before me. That’s my promise to you, Grayson. And I have people holding me to it. As long as my heart is beating, I will run the race to the fullest. So in the words of the late Nipsey Hussle, "The Marathon Continues!"
Coke & Pot Presents - Memoirs of a Black Father
A conversation between two young black fathers discussing fatherhood, legacy, racism, lessons we need to teach our children that we may not have learned, etc. We're also discussing mentorship and the difference between a parent mentoring you versus someone else mentoring you.
