Out and About - Day 148
What's up Gray Gray,
Apologies for using that moniker, but it's rapidly gaining traction. I'll continue efforts to stop it, but the people want what the people want. And if it does stick, no way it lasts beyond age 5 or so. You'll kick it on your own by then.
Tonight, I want to discuss a phenomenon of sorts. We've been on many an adventure without your mother at this point in your life. Her working nights has called for us to venture out without her for food, supplies, or to just give Mommy some well-desired time to herself. We've been to Walmart, the YMCA, Northlake Mall, breakfast with the fellas, even bowling. But no matter where we go, we're met with eyes of wonder and amazement. Being dad and infant out in public WITHOUT your mother (or a woman period) brings us so much attention!! It's as if people have never seen such a site before. We become some sort of curiosity. Honestly, I don't know how to feel about it.
On the one hand, it can be a bit flattering. We're told how cute we are. Women of all ages and ethnicities smile with their hands clasped together over their hearts, head slightly tilted to the side in admiration. Some even reach out with both hands as if to grab and hug you, but I have none of that. “Ease up, ma'am.” Men too are complimentary, throwing “the nod” or a tip of the hat, as if to say “I'm proud of you, keep it up” or “Dad life is dope isn't it”. Tonight, a gentleman actually verbally acknowledged that he found it really cool to see you and I out together. That type of interaction is genuinely encouraging.
On the less positive side of the spectrum resides a question about the state of fathers in this day and age. Are we looked upon as such a novelty because people are truly not seeing dads alone with their babies in public? At first, I try to justify it by thinking maybe I shouldn't be out with you. You're too young, too small, too fragile, but I quickly put that to bed. I know what I'm doing (for the most part); I keep you safe and protected and always have supplies at the ready. I even asked and received the green light from your pediatrician for outside activities. So then, I try to recall dads I've seen out alone with their babies, and I draw a blank. I have to believe I'm not the only one though. There must be others. Otherwise, there is something wrong right?
The other thing we run into are people expressing their concern. “You and that baby okay?” “Where's that beautiful baby's mother?” “He's probably hot in all that.” This has been exclusively woman between the age of 40 and 75 if I had to guess. I don't react to their comments because they are just words, and I think their intentions are from the right place. However, they come off as very condescending. These random ladies think they know you better than I do. We have given them no reason for concern. You've never once cried while you and I were out and about. You stare, smile, or sleep, that's it.
That being said, I handle the drive-by parenting/grand-parenting with grace and move on with our evening. It took me 30 years to develop a high road attitude, but it's the best way to live (in most situations). We have an opportunity to truly impact those around us in a positive way, but we can't do that if I'm biting off heads. Going into defensive dad mode at the smallest slight isn’t good for the message we are trying to convey.
In my heart of hearts, I know there are other dads out there changing diapers in a Best Buy, while the baby's mother is elsewhere. We proudly stand with those guys. We'll be the example the world needs. We're setting a new standard for fatherhood, and we will do so together with confidence and poise You don't actually have a decision in this, but I will at least thank you for your participation. Thanks, kid. Always forward.
Love,
Dahdah
