Don't Be Like Me, Be Better Than Me - Day 107
Between January and February of every year, I experience great heartache (with the February pain of 2017 being the worst on record).
Lies Your Shampoo Bottle Tells - Day 88
To add insult to injury, the bottle says “No more tears”. They should add “Because your eyes will be blue blazing like the desert on a hot day”.
Shots, Shots, Shots, Shots - Day 80
Obviously, we can't put you back inside your mother. You're already 2 inches taller and several pounds heavier than when you made your exit. So what's a dad to do?
Ghostrider - Day 69
Without beating around the bush, you lift your hands and feet into a motorcycle riding position whenever your bowels are on the move.